In my head today, I was really judging someone for being so negative when nothing was really so bad in their life. My speech (still just inside my head) was getting pretty eloquent and self-righteous, when in a moment of clarity, I decided to apply the same critique to myself for a moment. It wasn't very comfortable.
Here are the bare facts of the past few days:
1. Cupcake had a head injury
2. I've been out without Cupcake approximately 5 times in 12 months (all "after bedtime")
3. I'm feeling tired and a bit isolated
But I could, with total honesty, put those things into this context:
Cupcake's head appears to be perfectly fine today; we had a great GP consultation that was really reassuring, and even though monitoring her overnight was physically gruelling, it is a genuinely tiny price to pay for the peace of mind that she is safe and well.
There were a lot of people who agreed to be in my semi-official support network before I adopted, but I've struggled to ask for help from them. Really, the only person who can change that is me, and I need to swallow some pride and accept that for now, I need to ask for favours from people without being able to offer much in return. These people are good people, and they will have known it would be like that when they offered. I have been a bit of an idiot.
The cup is as full as I choose to see it. Brimfull of friends, happy memories, potential joys, and hands to hold if I need them.
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